


How To Get Banned From The Cheesecake Factory: A Tutorial

by celastris



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Humor, I think Im hilarious, hajime is also... so Tired, hiyoko wants carnage, if you read this ill give you my first born child, nekomaru is so Tired its Unreal, whats the opposite of ooc? cuz i think this is SO IN CHARACTER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celastris/pseuds/celastris
Summary: The sdr2 gang has been excited to go out to dinner together for weeks-- to the Cheesecake Factory, specifically. However, there's a hitch in the plan after Akane and Nekomaru admit to some of their more recent legally-ambiguous cake related endeavors...
Relationships: Nidai Nekomaru/Owari Akane
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	How To Get Banned From The Cheesecake Factory: A Tutorial

**Author's Note:**

> don't think too much about the setting or the au because i just wrote this as a funny little one-shot (or at least i think im Funnie ashfksjahdjks)  
> so yeah uhhh-- enjoy!

“Oh my god, yes babe!” Akane said, jumping from the booth and throwing her arms around the burly man on one knee in front of her, almost knocking him over. The two embraced one another tightly, the patrons around them clapping and cheering as Nekomaru slipped the ring on her finger. 

“Congratulations!! Here you go, on the house,” the waitress beamed, setting the plate of strawberry cheesecake on their table, something Nekomaru had asked her to do upon telling her earlier that he would be ‘proposing’ to his fiancé tonight. “I remember my husband proposing to me like it was yesterday—so romantic! It really is heartwarming, best of luck to you two!”

The two thanked her warmly as she walked off, Nekomaru lightly kicking Akane under the table in an effort to remind her to act natural. While they had in fact gotten what they came for, they still had to extract the cake without suspicion, leaving their mission incomplete. He had no problem keeping a poker face, but it was Akane’s drooling and oblivious comments that could potentially have them caught, something that had almost happened several times before on her account. The spiky-haired woman nodded with a roll of her eyes, remaining composed as they waited for their waitress to come back around. 

After a few minutes, the woman returned with the check, shortly after Nekomaru politely caught her attention, jokingly quizzical about the fact that all they’d done is order two waters. Akane did her best to awkwardly laugh this off, Nekomaru trying not to wince in secondhand embarrassment.

“Well I already ate before he suggested we come, but this is actually where we had our first date so I guess he wanted to do it here,” she chuckled nervously, Nekomaru rubbing the back of his neck, attempting to look as natural as possible. It was beyond him why they even had to bring a check for a completely free order, as the cake and the water were both complimentary, but that was something to be pondered later.

“Alright, that makes sense,” the waitress said with a laugh, “do you need anything else, or just the check?” 

Akane pretended to look to Nekomaru for approval, as if they needed to think for a second before continuing.

“Actually, could we get a box? He has an appointment with a… a dentist in 20 minutes, so we’re in a bit of a rush—thank ya so much!” The waitress gave a curt nod and walked off, returning quickly with their card and a styrofoam container, wishing them a wonderful rest of the day. Nekomaru boxed the slice as quickly as he could, putting it in the plastic bag given to them before the two got up to leave. They thanked the hostess on their way out and briskly made their way out the front doors. 

“Art of the deal, motherfuckers,” Akane snickered, elbowing her partner in crime as they walked out of the 4th Cheesecake Factory that week with a takeout box of free dessert. She slipped the ring off her finger and tossed it to Nekomaru, causing him to fumble and almost drop it with a swear.

“A dentist, Akane? That’s the best you could do?” Nekomaru chastised, waving an arm at her in frustration as they made their way through the parking lot, making sure to keep the other arm, upon which was hung their precious cargo, steady.

“Well it isn’t like you did much talkin’ anyways! Besides, I’ll have ya know that I took one of those fancy improv classes for this!” Akane huffed, folding her arms and pouting.

“No you didn’t, you asked Sonia to teach you how to act, despite the fact that she isn’t a native speaker, she grew up alone in a castle, and she’s _not _an actor. Literally the worst person you could ask,” the team manager muttered, not having enough energy to speak up and start a genuine argument on the matter as the two approached his car.__

__While it was technically Nekomaru’s car, at the suggestion of his doctors, he preferred not to drive unless necessary. Most of the time this wasn’t an issue, as those he usually ended up with either picked him up, or safely and smoothly drove his car._ _

__However, this was not the case with Akane._ _

__Sometimes he asked himself if letting her drive really was lessening the stress on his heart, because god knows it didn’t _feel like it _the past 4 times he’d had to yell at her to avoid them getting t-boned at a fucking intersection. Regardless, a driver was a driver, and if his soft spot for her was powerful enough to help her con the Cheesecake Factory out of a criminal amount of cake, he sure as hell didn’t have the strength to stop her from almost totaling his vehicle.___ _

____“Akane, we can’t keep doing this—you know we’re going to get caught,” the drastically taller man said with a sigh, rifling through his pocket to find his car keys._ _ _ _

____“Nah Coach, we’ve pulled this off 4 times this _week alone _without a hitch,” she said with a dramatic flourish of her arms, “at this point, nothin’ could possibly go wro—”___ _ _ _

______She was cut off mid-sentence by the sound of a yell, seemingly pointed in their direction, behind her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Her! I’ve seen her four times this week, and the other one too!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The two of them whipped their heads around at the voice echoing across the parking lot, to see another waiter trailed by an unfamiliar man, presumably the general manager given his more formal attire and earpiece, storming over towards their car with very displeased looks on their faces._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Goddammit Akane,” Nekomaru hissed before putting on the fakest smile he could, preparing to halfheartedly try and placate the pissed off Cheesecake Factory employees into, hopefully, not calling the police._ _ _ _ _ _

______************************************************************************_ _ _ _ _ _

______“So anyways guys, that’s why neither of us are allowed within 10 feet of a Cheesecake Factory on a corporate level! Any questions?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Everyone immediately began talking over one another, their two athletic peers being bombarded with a slew of questions, (as well as a _very _pissed off Hiyoko who had been dying to go to the Cheesecake Factory). Before the two could begin to answer any questions, a voice rang out over the crowd, quieting them down fairly quickly.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey!” Hajime yelled, shutting everyone up for a second before speaking, “let’s just unpack this all later, and, executive decision, we’re going to Chili’s.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Everyone began to nod or shrug in approval, before being interrupted by Akane once again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well actually we can’t do that either—” the gymnast interjected, earning an exasperated yell from Hajime over the once again raucous crowd._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“FINE. GIVE US ONE RESTAURANT YOU ARE NOT BANNED FROM, PLEASE.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Uhh, I don’t think we’ve touched Applebee’s yet, right Coach?” Akane replied, hesitantly checking with an exhausted Nekomaru._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Nope, that was your next target if I’m not mistaken,” he replied in the most defeated tone Hajime had ever heard from the man._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________As they all began to walk in the direction of the parking lot to get into their various carpools, Mahiru jogged up to Akane, keen on having her question answered as she matched her stride._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“So, I know this is going to sound stupid, because I’m sure there’s no _way _this could have happened,” the redhead laughed dismissively, rolling her eyes, “but… what about Chuck E Cheese’s? Y’know, like the arcade place?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yep! Banned. Internationally,” Akane beamed obliviously as Mahiru stopped and stood there for a minute, stupefied at the information she’d just received. She was jolted from her shock before she could say much, as was everyone else, by the blood-curdling scream of a certain traditional dancer who had overheard the gymnast’s response._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Her face was one of pure unadultered _rage _, on the verge of snapping after having her two favorite places ruled out one after the other, and she wanted _carnage _. She even managed to scare the incredibly tall Nekomaru, eyes brimming with bloodlust at both him and Akane Owari for their transgressions._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“SO NOW WE CAN’T GO TO CHUCK E FUCKING CHEESE’S EITHER?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this half conscious without revising it, (which i'll probably do later lol) so if theres any major errors or awkwardness then SORRY,,, we die like men,,,
> 
> if you liked it or have anything 2 say or any ideas for future stuff, drop a kudos or a comment below, and if you wanna, feel free to read any of my other stuff!! thanks!! :)


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